Amy Winehouse Dead: August 2008

Thursday, August 28, 2008

"aren't asians great?" by gwen stefani

omg hilarious. i love bobby lee so much

improved!

eee I love these lunch boxes. I hate bringing my food in tupperware b/c it seems so space-inefficient + I love at the asian market how they have stackable lunch boxes = my love for the lunch boxes below. otherwise how can I bring sushi and dumplings to lunch? I am stuck with sandwiches (borrrinnggg) (but yummy). but now I can bring these!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

just because.

Michael Ian Black is hilarious. but stella comedy is even funnier. so, a recent blog from mib about going to the amusement park, then the stella "amusement park." (although the stella is from their show on comedy central and totally not as funny as their internet shorts)

Because school starts next week, as an end-of-summer treat, yesterday we took the kids to a local water/amusement park. Lake Compounce is located in Bristol, CT (proud home of ESPN), and it was surprisingly awesome. Normally when I think “local amusement park,” I think “potential place to contract trench foot,” but Lake Compounce is clean and well-maintained. Even the floating Band-Aids in the wading pool were less pus-filled than normal.

The highpoint of the day came for me when my seven year old son announced he wanted to ride his first grown-up roller coaster, a wooden jobber called “The Wildcat.” It’s a very proud moment for a father when his son tells him he wants to brave a roller coaster. The low point came when we actually rode the thing, and I realized that while my son was thrilled, I was actually terrified. Those old coasters are absolutely brutal. After the first drop, I really thought I’d suffered whiplash. By the first turn, I was sure I had. When did I turn into one of those people who gets off a roller coaster concerned about whiplash? Answer: yesterday. Also of concern was damage to my spine, ribs, and spleen. I honestly felt like the roller coaster molested me.

When my newly minted second grader asked me if I thought the ride was as awesome as he did, what was I supposed to say? That daddy is a pussy? No, I couldn’t do that. He’ll find that out soon enough. I assured him that, yes it was awesome, and when he asked if we could ride again, I said almost without pause, “Absolutely.” Then I said, “In a little while,” which is what you say to your children when you are encouraging their immature short-term memories to fail. But of course he did not forget, even hours later after I had distracted him with Whack-A-Mole and cotton candy.

A child’s memory is a curious thing. Last night, for example, after he had been in the bathtub long enough, I told him to get out and dry himself off. Not thirty seconds later I came back in to check on him. He was still in the tub. “Why didn’t you get out of the tub when I asked?” I said. “I forgot,” he said.

My daughter also enjoyed the amusement park. She is five, thankfully still too short to ride roller coasters and other things whose sole purpose on this earth is to make me throw up. She spent much of her time with my wife at the children’s area. Is there a children’s roller coaster? There is. Did we ride it as a family? We did. Despite its small size and miniscule thrill factor, was it still kind of scary? I plead the Fifth.

Rides are terrible. Ultimately, what is their raison d’etre? I will tell you what: to make me feel even worse about myself than I already do. I never need to experience gravitational forces greater than the ones I am already dealing with. I already feel the weight of the world on my shoulders; one Earth G is plenty, thank you.. When you add more, and then throw nausea on top of that, I’m not necessarily thinking to myself, “This is great!” What I’m usually thinking is, “Please make it stop.”

Certain rides are fun: the Ferris Wheel comes to mind. I am not one of those ninnies who is afraid of heights. Everything else, yes, but not heights. The Ferris Wheel, in my book, is a relaxing way to get a view of the surrounding countryside and to spit on people’s heads. So we did that. Another good ride? The carousel. As long as it doesn’t go too fast. Also, any miniature train. I like those because miniature train are not scary, even when the engineer is kind of drunk, as ours appeared to be. Monorails, on the other hand, are terrifying. Thank God they didn’t have one.

As the day ended, my son was in an uproar about my promise to go back on the Wildcat with him. My wife refused to ride in my stead, particularly after I described how I was bleeding from my ass after my last trip. Plus, she’s an even bigger pussy than me, and considerably older. I was worried her frail heart might give out, so in a generous concession to her age, I agreed to get back on the stupid roller coaster with my stupid son. The line was short, and within about ten minutes we were strapped in. I tricked him into sitting closer to the front than we had last time, reasoning that sitting in the back of the roller coaster is probably like sitting in the back of the bus. My thinking was that if we sat more towards the middle, maybe the ride would be smoother. No. It was still bone-rattling and awful. I chipped most of my teeth and fractured my tail bone, but when we got off and my son asked if it was even more awesome the second time than the first, I said yes, and when he asked if we could ride just one more time, I said no. “No,” I said, “Because if we ride it again, Daddy is going to die.”

School can’t start soon enough.

Part 1:

Part 2:

Part 3:

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

lady nasty approves

oh damn. how do these make you feel?

lady nasty thinks they're the classiest thing she ever saw. la dynasty thinks they should be buried deep in the earth's core and never see the light of day. lady nasty wins!!!!

if you want to buy them so you can store your blow you cokeheads: http://www.bijulesnyc.com/store_item/items-10726-nail-ring

ps I just found out that calling blow "white girl" the new thing in the hip hop world. hayyy

UPDATE: I just found this to add to lady nasty's personal jewelry collection. AND it's vivienne westwood!

le samourai

I recently came across an article about the french new wave/neo-noir film by jean-pierre melville that basically is a "how to dress like a 1960s lone assassain" which is pretty sweet, but I remembered how much I loveddd the movie when I saw it a couple years ago.

I am lazy and don't feel like typing it, but definitely netflix it and read the wikipedia and I am sure you will enjoy it as much as I did.

plus I heart this movie times 10 b/c it has an IRC (interracial couple), which is my favorite. oh wait, actually I love gay IRCs more. also b/c it has 60s clothing, which I think is beautiful and classy. plus, for an action film, it really only has about 3 or 4 "action" scenes. it is quiet, in a good way. but still v. anticipating. plus, how can you not love anything from the 60s that incorporated samurai thinking/spartan living?

Sunday, August 17, 2008

wonder woman part 2

oh hai there dita. remember this post where we talked about how dita was designing 3 styles for wonderbra (but only in the UK and France you fuckers.)? well, here they are!

The collection includes 3 distinct styles:

Satin-Teese: is a return to classic elegance and retro glamour that comes in two colours; soft peach and dove grey, and offers the 50’s top wire design

Multi-Teese: a provocative, multi-talented set in black which allows the wearer to arrange the straps a multitude of ways, this range features a unique quick-release magnetic closure on both the bra and the bottom, making daring stripteases a cinch

Spot-Teese: a fun and flirty range featuring a casino chip motif in caramel, overlaid with a sexy sheer black tulle and accented with a floral detail that can decorate the bra or brief

my personal fave:

lourdes dresses cool

I know other blogs have posted about how fuckin cool lourdes (madonna's daughter) dresses seeing as she is only like 12 years old, but I thought I'd add to that. I know she has a trillion dollars, but still, that bitch is fly!!!

unicorn jones' outfit roundup -- 08/16

Friday, August 15, 2008

Jennifer Love Hewitt's Secret To Miraculous Weight Loss

After the unflattering photos of Jennifer Love Hewitt’s fuller-figure in a bikini came out in November, she felt the need to defend herself from critics and insist she was completely comfortable with her size 2 (10) body.
Even through Jennifer says she didn’t lose weight for the mean things said about her, she still wanted to feel on top of her game. The result is astonishing she lost 18lbs in only 10 weeks!

"I am in a pretty good workout regimen that I like, so it inspired me to keep it up," Hewitt tells Us. "The energy level and the way I feel now is great."
"With her, it's not, 'I want to look good in that dress,'" trainer Stevie Sant'Angelo tells Us. "She wanted to start moving around because she thought it would make her feel better. "She told me, 'They said some rude, mean things, but that's not why I wanted to change,'" Sant'Angelo says. (source)

I know what you guys are thinking… she is a cynical b*tch that lost no time getting back into shape even after she stood up for all the different sized women! Let’s not go there! Since I started this blog I said I needed to drop some weight, things got a bit out of control and finally in February I started a diet! People said I looked great (not really!), some people said i did… anyway I beat JLove, I lost 20-22lbs and I'm now feeling better than ever… well I still felt sexy before, it doesn’t mean I didn’t like myself then… but I feel so much better now… I totally understand what JLove went through… I’m sure I had a point when I started this crazy rambling…
Jennifer looks absolutely amazing! 18lbs less or more doesn’t change the sexy person that she is!! :D

Thursday, August 14, 2008

. . . the lady that's known as Lou

usually I find poetry tedious and boring, but sometimes I come across a poem that I love (hello j. alfred prufrock). also I was never into the 1800s wild west sort of shit (except for I want a framed picture of me, mr jones, and our titty MisMis dressed up in one of those sepia sears photo shoots from a saloon), but after reading this lovely bit I kinda can see how people romanticize it.

The Shooting Of Dan McGrew by Robert Service

A bunch of the boys were whooping it up in the Malamute saloon;
The kid that handles the music-box was hitting a jag-time tune;
Back of the bar, in a solo game, sat Dangerous Dan McGrew,
And watching his luck was his light-o'-love, the lady that's known as Lou.

When out of the night, which was fifty below, and into the din and the glare,
There stumbled a miner fresh from the creeks, dog-dirty, and loaded for bear.
He looked like a man with a foot in the grave and scarcely the strength of a louse,
Yet he tilted a poke of dust on the bar, and he called for drinks for the house.

read the rest of it here (sorta long)

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and here are some of those old-timey horribly wonderful fake photo shoots that people in the midwest get done from jc penney.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

top 25 sesame street guest appearences

ah, another list. this time, the top 25 musical/actor guests on sesame street. click here to see all of them. I just picked my faves:

1.

(embedding was disabled -- click here to see video)

Monday, August 11, 2008

georgia vs. russia

if you're wondering why, exactly, georgia declared war on russia, this explains it

Sunday, August 10, 2008

like it or not

architecture in helsinki just came out w/ a new song and video, and while the song, as mr. jones says, is "questionable in goodness," the video is amazing.

Architecture in Helsinki - Like It Or Not from helsinkids on Vimeo.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Miley Cyrus Opens Up To Seventeen (September 2008)

Pick up the September 2008 issue of Seventeen — on newsstands August 12th — for an exclusive interview where Miley Cyrus finally dishes about dating Nick Jonas.

On dating Nick Jonas: We became boyfriend and girlfriend the day we met. He was on a quest to meet me, and he was like, ‘I think you’re beautiful and I really like you.’ And I was like, ‘Oh, my gosh, I like you so much.’ Nick and I loved each other. We still do, but we were in love with each other. For two years he was basically my 24/7. But it was really hard to keep it from people. We were arguing a lot, and it really wasn’t fun.

On the breakup: At first I bawled for a month straight. I was so sad. I just went into this weird funk. And I dyed my hair black. When we were dating, Nick wanted me to get highlights - and so I did that, and I got myself looking great. And then, on the day we broke up, I was like, I want to make my hair black now - I don’t want to look pretty. I want to look hard-core. I was rebelling against everything Nick wanted me to be. And then I was like, I’ve got to be by myself for now, and just figure out who I really am.

On where she is right now relationship-wise: Maybe he’ll be my best friend for the rest of my life or maybe I’ll end up marrying Nick Jonas. Since (the break-up), I’ve realised that I’ve met so many great guys, but I like being the girl nobody can have. No one can touch me, no one’s mine. I’m myself. I think it’s sexy to do your own thing.

Source: Seventeen

Kate Hudson Does W Magazine (Photos & Interview)

A single Kate Hudson is the new cover girl for the September 2008 issue of W Magazine. Kate, who looks absolutely fabulous (someone had lots of fun with Photoshop), opens up about taking risks, family and her intense dating life.

On taking risks: “I have this personality—and there’s a downside to it too—but I have this thing where it’s like, okay, I’ve chosen to bungee jump off this ledge. I have to do it. And if the cord snaps, well, I might as well enjoy the ride down.”

On spending the “prime Hollywood partying years” of her early 80’s caring for her son, Ryder: “Am I gonna look back and say, God, I wish I could have gone to that… that… concert? I’d rather be listening to my son sing songs. I’d rather be watching him sleep.”

On keeping in touch with ex-husband Chris Robinson: “We iChat with Chris constantly. No matter what is going on in my life, relationship-wise, Chris takes absolute precedence. It’s important for Ryder to hear me say how wonderful Chris is, and how much Chris misses him.”

On exposing details of her dating life: “It’s so hard for me, because I’m so open, to hold back. I could really just go on forever about this stuff. We can talk about Chris till the dogs come home. I married Chris, I had a baby with Chris, Chris will be in my life for the rest of my life. But everything else—I’ve learned that things are better left private until you’re actually planning the wedding.”

Source: W Magazine

Jamie Lynn Spears & Baby Maddie Briann Out & About

Jamie Lynn Spears is adjusting well to her new responsibilities as a mom. She was seen out and about with a friend and 2 month-old baby Maddie Briann.

Reportedly there will be a late fall wedding at Jamie Lynn’s own backyard, where she and baby daddy Casey Aldridge will exchange vows in a small private ceremony. With the wedding approaching quickly, Jamie Lynn is planning to look her best on the big day. "She's already down to her pre-pregnancy weight," says a friend. "She has the cutest figure!"

Source; Photos: Gossip Girls

Eva Longoria Expanding Baby Bump (Photos)

This isn’t just another rumor! We finally have evidence! Eva Longoria is showing off a baby bump on set of Desperate Housewives. In a recent interview Eva confessed she was packing some extra weight as a requirement for her role as Gabrielle Solis and she also expressed her desire to have children with her husband Tony Parker.

Longoria, who plays the usually glamorous, slim, sexpot Gabrielle Solis, has been wolfing down pizza and pasta - and it shows. Her figure - still waif-like by ordinary standards - is, by Hollywood's rather more rigorous criteria, a little rounder than usual.
'I've been cooking and eating, cooking and eating,' admits the actress, who is married to basketball player Tony Parker. 'I've eaten pretty much everything in sight.'
So, as indelicate as it seems to ask the beautiful Ms Longoria the 'fat or pregnant' question, she clearly has some explaining to do. 'I'd love to have a family,' she begins tentatively.
'I've always wanted to be married with kids. I almost had a checklist in my head: career? Check. Marriage? Check. Kids? Check. I can't wait!'
She refuses to say whether she is pregnant or not. 'There's always something people are asking you,' she says. 'When you're dating someone, it's, "When are you going to get married?"
Then you get married and it's, "When's the baby?" Then you have a baby and it's, "When's the divorce?" So I guess I should count myself lucky we're still at the "When's the baby?" stage.' (source)

There is a baby on the way for sure… Eva is just trying to fool us with Desperate Housewives change of plot. Actually it would be the perfect time to get pregnant and continue working since it wouldn’t affect her work…
Congratulations to Eva and Tony!!