from the fail blog

they called this a "helen keller fail," but I would actually call this a "helen keller win."

click below to see why. this made me laugh. out loud. at work. fuck.

a third robert johnson photo???

there is an article in the new vanity fair that suggests (asks?) if a newly-discovered photo depicts robert johnson, my blues king. there are only 2 known photos of him (the article says there are a couple more but the public has never seen it b/c there is/has been a huge litigation bullshit thing going on for the last few decades about his estate)


the article is actually pretty interesting and worth reading all 5 pages, but I am lazy and don't feel like typing up what it says, so I will summarize it.

pic 1

pic 2

pic 3? (RJ on the left)

I say: YES, due to the long-ass fingers and slightly wonky left eye, and b/c I want to believe it. vanity fair says: most likely but cannot for sure verify.

the art of relaxating

jemaine from flight of the conchords has introduced his new character, dr. ronald chevalier.

I thought it was hilarious, but I was also stoned, so who knows. but you should still watch it

(and note -- the native american headpiece on the left, and his huge bonerr when he does some "relaxating" techniques.)

Dr. Ronald Chevalier - Inspiring Oneself

ps if you finish watching the video and click on it again, it shows a different clip

real headline: "Man decorates basement with $10 worth of Sharpie"

I wish I could embed this, b/c it is amazing. like hardcore amazing. it won't let me embed it, but he took these:

and made his basement look like this:

but with sharpies. and better. just go here!

hitchcock was a perv (join the club)

oh, you didn't know hitchcock was a perv?

there's a new hitchcock biography out called “Spellbound by Beauty” by Donald Spoto and it "surveys Alfred Hitchcock’s fraught relations with those ice-blond leading ladies he favored" (thank you ny times book review)

there is one especially weird thing w/ tippi hedren from the birds, where it says:

about Hitchcock’s attempt to force her into making herself sexually available to him, threatening to ruin her career if she would not oblige. (She didn’t.)

I mean, we all knew hitchcock was a freak! but a perv on top of that? hayyyyy

o hai there S&M hitchcock

my goal in life is to drop out of high school, be on girls gone wild, and have MAH babay!!!

omg too funny. this bitch keeps saying "mah baby" and it is hilarious. please watch (especially the first part)

dancing with cats part deux?

hayy.

that's enough, diablo cody

this is a bit late in the game, but it's about diablo cody (real name: brook busey). I haven't seen juno (it looks kinda boring) but everybody that I meet seems to be 1) in love with it or 2) hating it more than anything (well actually everybody is now on 3) don't really care anymore), and even though I don't necessarily hate diablo cody and I am just not that interested in her one way or another, I guess I'd go w/ the side of "she sucks"

anyways, in my internet meanderings, I came across this description of her which I think is absolutely perrfecttt. the person described her as:

"post-burlesque, 'punk' stripper, I love Bettie Page, roller derby is awesome, please don't mention how old I am thing"

real age: 30

also, I'd like her to stop trying so hard. okay, I'm off my soapbox now

wonderful things!

i found this blog while i was looking for pictures to send to my daddy for his bday. it's just a load of amazing images (most of them quite old) to inspire you! There usually about 4-5 per post and each post has a little theme. I think it's fun to look at but also really useful!




Inspiration Resource

"a lotta people wanna eat you but I just wanna talk to you okay?"

there is a hilarious skit w/ andy samberg on snl (I know, but it is actually funny) where he is mark wahlberg and talks to animals and he talks exactly like marky mark and it is fucking funny (the second video below), and recently mark wahlberg was on jimmy kimmel and they show the skit and then mark wahlberg (jokingly) is like I'm gonna fuckin kill that kid, which is medium funny, but mostly the best part is marky mark talking to the chicken

see what I mean:

and here is the OG skit:

ah yes, the fainting goats!

I know this is WAY old news, but I just accidently came across the video of the fainting goats again and it is TOTALLY worth posting (or re-posting, if I've already shown this shit)

skip to :49 for the adorable-ness and best clip

um, did everyone already know about this?

am I the last the hear about this? I feel like I should've known about "Potemkin village," but it probably is one of those things that just totally misses me and I've never heard about (i.e. never seeing star wars, not seeing daria, etc -- oh wait, maybe it's just tv/movie stuff. nevermind.).

anyways, here is what wikipedia says:

Potemkin villages were purportedly fake settlements erected at the direction of Russian minister Grigori Aleksandrovich Potemkin to fool Empress Catherine II during her visit to Crimea in 1787. According to this story, Potemkin, who led the Crimean military campaign, had hollow facades of villages constructed along the desolate banks of the Dnieper River in order to impress the monarch and her travel party with the value of her new conquests, thus enhancing his standing in the empress's eyes.

Here is a modern example of what these things looked like (sort-of):

and here is the hot bitch that he did this for (she would make a good chola) -- no horses allowed:

there is a lot of controversy about whether or not this actually happened, but for those who believe it, there is also the theory that says that actually catherine probably knew they were fake and were actually for the benefit of the other bouge-y richies, but it still seems crazy to me.

Here are some uses in modernish-day speak:

"It's a lie, a huge Potemkin village designed to give North Korea the appearance of modernity."-- Kevin Sullivan, "Borderline Absurdity", Washington Post, January 11, 1998

"Unless U.S. imperial overstretch is acknowledged and corrected, the United States may someday soon find that it has become a Potemkin village superpower -- with a facade of military strength concealing a core of economic weakness."-- Christopher Layne, "Why the Gulf War Was Not in the National Interest", The Atlantic, July 1991

coffin couches

one of these would be perrrrfect for my IH victorian living room or my IH gentlemen's club. plus, they are made from recycled (unused) coffins, so that ups the sweetiddity

the "red baron" (I am not kidding that is what they call it)

the "green lantern"

o hai there $3,5000 couch!!!

comics!

i just read a comic (actually i should call it a graphic novel, because i might offend someone, namely the too serious nazi femminist from my Graphic Novel course at uni) called David Boring by Daniel Clowes (who also wrote Ghost World!) I am way into it because it's a story about nothing in particular, which i decied are the best kind - stories about weird things and quirky people with not that much plot and a lot less action that are all character driven. AND David Boring reminds me of like 2-3 people i know in life, but i am sure this would be the same for anyone who reads the book.

It's made into a movie one day, but I can do the costumes this time. I think david boring should be played by...

SFW (seventies porn)

here is some SFW porn mr. jones showed me! it's seventies porn w/ ms paint over it. hilarioussss

fail

too funny. the fail blog. some examples:

best tv mom EVER

seriously, claire huxtable is the best mom in tv history.